Still They Come

Yet another Miracle Horse Trainer who will Change The Way You Think etc etc, is coming to Australia. If EoR didn't have a pathological aversion to wasting money, he'd go along to see Klaus Hempfling, since he promises:

Give me a horse and I will show you that God really exists...

EoR has been vaguely aware of Herr Hempfling's existence for a while (mainly as the author of books and DVDs such as "Dancing With Horses" and "Coming Together" - something he feels should probably be sold under the counter and not to minors) but wasn't aware of the extent of his claims to magical powers.

The explanation of his teaching principles is rather scant (and more a collection of questions than statements), but this is intriguing stuff:

To understand this, Hempfling teaches the principles of primal life, against the background of both the mythological and the real horse. He emphasises the importance of the persons total honest self-assessment and self-knowledge and encourages both mental and physical self-control. He explains how a misplaced or misunderstood feeling, glance, posture, attitude or movement can make the difference between success and failure in the relationship with a horse.

"The principles of primal life"? "Mythological horses"? Maybe he's got a flying winged horse in hiding.

You could also take advantage of a retreat at the Seahorse Centre, where this miraculous proof is being offered:

Let us and our horses at the SeaHorse Centre be your guides back to an enjoyable life with a strong sense of self, connecting with your intuitive and creative side. The mystical nature of horses have been at the centre of many wellbeing experiences had by our visitors. They provide a healing for mind and body and challenge our ability to go beyond our physical senses into the realm of the intuitive.

It's all mystical, intuitive, creative and, frankly, weird. "Wellbeing experiences"? Why are these people talking a language that EoR has no comprehension of? "A healing for mind and body"? Are they claiming they're a sort of horsey Lourdes?

Sadly, naming this sort of woo "horsemanship" is not an option (they'd probably get sued by Pat) so they call it "manhorseship" instead! At least they've got a sense of humour.

This is a place where we help people and horses to feel accepted and at ease; where they can feel free to explore their thoughts and imaginations without judgment, but with joy, laughter and encouragement.

Sadly, there are no testimonials, paintings, novels, or musical compositions created by the horses who are exploring "their thoughts and imaginations without judgment" while laughing at the foolish humans in a contemplative daze surrounding them.